What type of fantasy basketball player are you?
There are all kinds of fantasy basketball players around. If you play in more than two or three leagues, you will know what I mean. The straight guy, the attention hog, the trade demon, the inattentive jackass… it goes on. Below are a few examples that I have had the pleasure of playing with over the last couple of seasons.
Mr Average (Or I’d Pick LeBron #1 everytime): Likes to do a bit of everything. Has no problem picking first or picking last. Will offer trades, build a competitive team but in the end, fall apart at the finish line because the perfect plan didn’t quite come off. This will result in blaming others (injuries most likely) and sulking off in to the future forever thinking about what could have been. Regrets trades that never happened despite never willing to trade with players at the top of their game. Thinks it’s fair enough that his opponent only has 14 total player games in All Star week while he lucked out and ended up with 23 but hates it when his 11th round draft pick gets a 4 week hamstring injury.
The Dan Gilbert: Demands things. Like the way certain rules should be interpreted after already trampling on others in previous seasons to get ahead. Tries to hit a home-run with their first pick then fills out the roster with way past their prime people who starred in a different era (think about that person who took Shawn Marion last year and expected to ride him all the way… oh wait. That might have been me). Over inflates players stats just to look good in arguments or tricks people into trades (Why please Mr Jamison, join our team for nothing). Will not win the league this season but will remind people about the past. (note: please imagine this who paragraph in comic sans for complete effect)
The (Insert Player Name) Lover: Loves individual stars despite their zero sum effect on any team which this person is trying to build. Paul Pierce in the early 3rd round? It’s PAUL PIERCE DUDE! Whatdaya mean Monta Ellis isn’t awesome? I have his ME Rocket shoes from 2008! All of a sudden, the roster has 3 small forwards and 4 point guards, together with names like Boris Diaw, Caron Bulter and Gilbert Arenas. No, this dude never wins, but he has an eclectic set of jerseys spanning his previous fantasy basketball seasons which is more than you can say about your crappy collection of Yahoo .JPG trophies.
Mr ODSR (Old Dudes Still Representing): Aka Mr Conservative. Aka Mr Boring. Tim Duncan? Yes please. Jason Kidd? Delicious. Chauncey Billups? All-Star. You get the drift. No-one will manage to play 82 games, but when someone does eventually produce 25-12-3 once every 8 weeks against the Nets, you won’t hear the end of it (“I told you he would be back”). The worst thing about this person? Their constant ability to amaze you with outstandingly stupid picks and trades which shatter any balance in the league.
Ms Bo Peep: You won’t hear a sound from this owner. Trade email? Silence. Responding to general forum chatter? Nada. After languishing mid table for the entire season with their original roster still in tact, holding onto Anthony Randolph despite all evidence pointing to the contrary, you might wonder if they have just given up completely? But the roster will still be set every week and the groans just loud enough to be heard as Jose Calderon posts another 24 minute, 3 assist game, absolutely failing to justify his 2nd round selection. Not a threat to the title, but definitely a strong possibility to sap all the fun out of the league.
The Kevin Garnett (trash talker): Probably the most hated of all fantasy players, but could still manage to make the league entertaining even if you took away box scores. Just because Baron Davis topped 20 points for the first time since he was a Hornet doesn’t mean you have to hear about as you lose 5-4 on Sunday evening. Last Sunday evening. And you’re still hearing about it. This guy finished 5th last season, and while his 40-38 record this season doesn’t sit any better, you wouldn’t know it after he just pronounced himself the champion in week 8 after trading for Jeff Green and Corey Maggette. While you secretly want to play this dude every week just for a chance to open some whoop-ass on him, you still try to stay above the fray by politely pointing to the scoreboard, only to have that email smashed back in your face with a group cc saying your team are the worst chokers since the ’06 Mavs. Even your computer giggles. Only 4 more months until the NBA finishes up. Sigh.
Did I miss anyone?
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Great stuff from Tales of 9 Cats in the form of an interview with Dr A from Rotoworld.
The Golden State Warriors by GMTR.
Rookies for now and the future, by CBS.
You forgot the homer…picks marginal players from his own team when there are better players available.
Very true mate. I know I’ve been guilty on that in the past but how can you go past 20 minutes a night and potential?
What about Dr. Double-Dimes? He thinks offering his two dimes for your quarter is not only fair, but totally smart on your part. He thinks it so much that he will offer you some combination of his same four scrubs for your Kevin Durant at least once a week. Volume, bro. Volume.
Then he goes to the nearest pub and hits on every girl until he finds the one drunk enough to go home with him.
P.S. I enjoy your site, man. Not enough of us out here focused on fantasy hoops. Take a gander at my site when you have time.
I love it Adam. Real life following fantasy, or perhaps the other way round.
Checked out your site, will add it to the daily read. Liked the Tiago Splitter article but don’t like seeing Richard Jefferson’s name anywhere on a fantasy hoops blog =) Cheers.
the opposite of mr old dudes still representing, where you keep on stacking your team with players from the rookie-sophomore challenge and rookie of the year candidates, realizing that they’ll never ever get hurt
That’s true, but it can all fall apart at some stage. People do grow old unfortunately, even fantasy basketball studs. I think Darren Collison should be OK for a few more seasons yet, and if all this Chris Paul trade chatter is for real, then he is a very solid PG prospect.
Yo, you forgot the epileptic. He’s the guy in the H2H league who drops/adds 4 marginal players a day to beat you by volume. And then he’ll get upset because one of the guys he dropped blew up or got extra PT due to injury, and then trash talk the rest of the year about his keen scouting eye. Also happens to be the most rewarding person to beat after the Kevin Garnett
Damn! That’s the best one yet. I think it’s probably better to beat them than the smak talker most times because it’s harder. So satisfying indeed
Great post. I think I’ve played with every single one of these guys you mention. Some are fun (I enjoy insert player lover) while others can be downright annoying. My minor addition to the club would be a take on Ms Bo Peep. This one is the Deadbeat Owner, or the guy who you basically never hear from again after the draft. Come January, he’s starting 5 injured players and hasn’t made a free agent move all year. Pretty much a guaranteed to finish in last place and also takes a lot of the fun out of the league. He’s often found in public leagues.
Cheers for the kind words mate.
The deadbeat… always the jerk who also somehow ends up with a good team, only to see it wasted. That said, public leagues are basically the devil.
Hell yeah caron butler lovers of the world unite ride or die 4 PG core, thats practically the only way to win, load up on big men and happy passing guards, and building around lamar odom.
Building around Lamar Odom? I think we are probably on different pages here Erik. And Caron Bulter should not be mentioned… ever… when talking about fantasy hoops.